Sunday, July 31, 2011

Leukemia has Prompted Me to Change My Theme Song; Can You Guess the New One?

For those of you that remember the show Ally McBeal, you will remember that she had a theme song. I LOVED the show's theme song: “Searchin’ My Soul,” by Vonda Shepard. I actually loved everything about that show. Of course, there were many songs that floated around in Ally's head and they changed from time to time, but ever since I was aware that she had one,  I just knew that I had to have one, too.


I think that Ally's "theme song" was "Tell Him, Tell Him That You Love Him!"

It took me awhile to find one that would suit me. Back in 1997 I was married with three kids; two in high school, and a two year old. I ran an in-home daycare with a minimum of eight Lilliputians every day. I managed to keep up with them during the day; and high school football and band, in the evenings.  I thought that I was living the American Dream. Joke was on me and I ended up divorced, shortly after my very, traumatic fortieth birthday. It was then that I came up with my very own theme song: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” by the Rolling Stones.

For an entire decade, it remained my theme song. I didn’t “always get what I wanted, BUT, I Always got what I needed,” even though I didn’t even know I was needing anything at all. More often than not, I got what I needed in an unexpected way. Those ten years taught me to trust in God and to turn my “wants” over to HIM; he determined my “needs.” My theme song served me well.

Fast forward twelve years; I have just been diagnosed with leukemia; chronic myelogenous leukemia.  Foreign words, which I do not understand. I am in the hospital, getting poked, probed, chemotherapy, leukapheresis and blood; my mind is reeling and my thoughts are jumbled; somewhere out of the clear blue, I change my theme song. It wasn’t a conscious, “Gee, maybe I should change my theme song today,” It was a WHAM; my theme song has changed.

Anyone guess what it might be? Just for fun, I think I will hold off from telling you and see if anyone can guess what my new theme song is!


  1. Shall I hold off on what that song is? (Do I have really shallow friends - the irony of JoBeth Willians playing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" at the funeral in the beginning of The Big Chill - it didn't occur to a SOUL around me, the "duh guys" thing... Your hint was too obvious. We can't always get what we want, and all we can do is "PRAY" we get what we need. Right now, for you, THAT is to get well. I hold you dear in my Prayers all the time - I know many others do the same. Sending you the Prayer and Hope you "need" and "want"...Ahhh, sometimes you can have both! xoxoxo Julia

  2. So, true Julia, but what is the NEW theme song???

  3. YOU are kicking this cancer out, wake you up before it goes, cause you're not planning to let it go solo - take ALL CANCER WITH IT!! Close? xoxoxo julia

  4. I don't think it is Wham. My theme song is I'm Still Standing by Elton John i listen to it and sing along as if I am singing to my CML ....I'm still standing better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid. Please give it listen. i am going to go listen to your old theme song now and looking forward to listening to your new one once you announce it.

  5. So, another Michele with one "L" with CML???? How funny is that, AND you have a theme song!! I love it! And I will be listening to YOUR theme song.

  6. Michelle,

    Hello! I love your website! I am an oncology nurse and have been working with oncology patients since 1997 with a brief 3 year hiatus for three years in trauma. After those three years, I was screaming to get my oncology patients back! I can not say enough about your courage, strength, and lust for life!! I applaud you in all your efforts and upbeat and positive attitude. Working in this field for the amount of years that I have, mindset is 98% of the battle and the other is taken care of by the powers that be upstairs!
    Again, as an oncology nurse, you and all of our patients are our blessing everyday we work with you. You inspire us and bless us with your spirit each and everyday. Please know that your nurses that help take care of you appreciate that you allow them to help you along your path and journey! We feel blessed that we can help you achieve your goals however big or small everyday!
    It is every oncology nurses hope and dream that we inspire you half as much as you and our patients inspire us!
    Kudos to all your accomplishments and milestones that you have achieved thus far, and continued achievements ahead!

    God Bless!!
    Heather Sperling, RN, BSN, OCN

  7. Hi Heather!!

    Please forgive my delay in getting back to you. It was such a pleasure to hear from you!
    It always so nice to hear that my yammering on and on brightens someone's day.....

    And speaking on behalf of those of us battling cancer, you are the kind of nurse that makes our journey so much more manageable.
    It is caring and thoughtful people like you that give US strength. I do agree with you, that our journey and battle is in the hands of the guy upstairs, but I also believe that
    the way in which we live our life also affects not only the quality of our live's, but our outcomes, too.

    I certainly refuse to let cancer slow me down! I know that as long as I keep moving I have a better chance of tricking myself into believing that I am well! lol

    I have been encouraged by many to turn my blog into a book, what do you think of that idea.

    Once again, thank you for your kind words!


Bricks for the Brave!!