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Thursday, May 1, 2014

Sprycel Sadness

It is funny how quickly one can forget unpleasantness. It has only been three days since I began taking an increased amount of Sprycel. I went from 70 mg a day to 100 mg a day. I was on 100 mg a day for the better part of my three year CML journey, but have been on a reduced dose for the past six months. Apparently my CML took the decrease and ran with it; my PCR took a leap. I have increased the Sprycel and will be rechecking my PCR in two months. Wouldn't it be so cool if there was a lab error?

Anyway, I finally realized that my weepiness and wanting to crawl into a corner and cry, is not the result of the bad news; it is the result of the increased Sprycel. I forgot that Sprycel make me sad! Not really sad in a boo-hoo, feeling sorry for myself kind of way, but sad in a still seeing the flowers, but through a gray cloud sort of way.

Sprycel has a way of dampening my spirits and masking my true, joyful self. I know that this may seem strange, but it is real and now that I have remembered this feeling, I can stop wondering “what is wrong with me!?”

So, on that note, I am changing my Theme Song back to: “You Can’t Always Get What You Wa--ant!”, cause right now I guess I am “Getting what I need!”


What is your theme song?


2 comments:

  1. Michele, I don't guess I have a theme song, nor have I even thought about one! Maybe I need to. I can see where it could be uplifting. I guess if I had one or two, one might be Peace Speaker, and one might be Amazing Grace. I appreciate your posts. You are an encouragement. I have been diagnosed since July, 2013. At first I was in a clinical trial with ponatinib. It really brought the cancer cells down. Fast. However, the clinical trial was stopped because people who were 3 or 4 years out taking it were having a higher incidence of death, heart attacks, strokes, etc. So, then I was put on Sprycel. It is the one, out of all the Leukemia drugs I know about, that I did not want to take! Go figure, eh? :) Anyway, my cell count was so low last time it was checked (.00005something), so the disease seems to be responding, but I still have little energy, cannot go for a trip of any length. Even just into town, about 10 miles away, and back can just make me exhausted in a horrible way! I have not been able to be in church because I am not able to dress for church, get there, sit through the service, and then get back home. So, we are blessed to have our services live online. It has been my lifeline for a long time now. Do you experience anything like that since Sprycel? I am thinking any of the chemo drugs will probably have pretty much the same effects. No cancer drug is gentle -- they are all harsh! But, I have God to help me and He is always with me. Hope this wasn't too long.

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  2. HI Virginia,
    Yes, my theme song has changed from time to time;I have had one ever since I watched Ally McBeal! I loved that show and her psychiatrist encouraged her to have one!
    As far as the fatigue on Sprycel; yes! and since mine was recently increased, I am even MORE tired. It does seem that before, I eventually adapted to the dose I was on, so hopefully that will happen again.

    Blessings, Virginia,
    Michele

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