Most days are good days, but some days I just cannot help, but to be mad. This morning I found out that my Bcr-Abl count has raised, “just a bit” for the third time in a row. For someone with CML, this is never “good” news. It basically means that instead of lowering my “make me feel crappy” medication, I will have to increase it; with hopes that it will start to decrease my Bcr-Abl, again. If it does not….well…I won’t think about that today….
Helping to keep my mind off of my own health issues, I just found out that my poor, dear, sweet mother has been hospitalized, yet again, with pneumonia. I swear that that woman NEVER gets a break! My heart just crumbles when I think of all that she has endured for the past 17 years. (my honest to goodness belief is that all of her troubles all began, with the many doses of floroquinolones; Cipro and Levaquinn that she has been given) Please send many prayers her way.
If that is not enough to keep my mind occupied, then I can throw my sister’s Multiple Sclerosis into the mix. She has been suffering for years and finally received a diagnosis of MS, just recently. She is three years younger than I am, and yes, my heart breaks for her, too. Just yesterday she had to call 911 to escort her home because her vision became so impaired, while she was driving, that she could no longer see well enough to continue to drive herself home. Her life has just been the pits, for longer than I care to think about. Prayers for her too, please.
And of course, on days like these, my beautiful, loving niece is in my constant thoughts and prayers, as well. Just when I am feeling sorry for myself, my sister and my mother, she comes to my mind. This little angel has Cerebral Palsy; my daily struggles pale, in comparison to hers. Fortunately, she is blessed to have parents that love and care for her, in ways that many of us will never know; in that regard, she is a very lucky little girl, however, I am adding her to my “really mad” about life day. Sometimes life can just seem so overwhelming and unfair.
So, for all of the reason above, I am having a very bad, very mad, kind of day!